​​Becoming a better negotiator is a beneficial skill to learn that takes consistent practice. Whether you have to learn how to negotiate salary or are after learning how to get the raise you deserve, negotiating properly can help you earn as much as 25% more than if you negotiate poorly. Negotiating can be tricky, but it can increase your opportunities and improve your life in many ways. It’s a skill you can develop. 
 
If you want to be a cut above the rest of the negotiators, follow the five steps below:

Step One: Always bid first and higher – If you are selling something, don't assume the buyer will pay higher than what your goal is. It is likely that if you allow the buyer to provide a price first, they will always low ball, and it will make it harder to negotiate a better value. When bidding first, it is also essential to give a number that is higher than your end goal.
 
Step Two: Listen before action – Listen before you reply. Let the other party finish any of their thoughts first. Silence may be awkward, but this can be used to your advantage. Most likely, the other party will fill the silence with valuable information to lead you to a better result. Not every response needs a reply, either. If someone claims the price is too high, let the silence make them think about their reasons why.
 
Step Three: Avoid negative emotions – It is only natural to feel tension when negotiating but don’t allow the other party to feel this tension. It will only lead to a roadblock that prevents success. Try to think of it as a challenge and something that is fun rather than something confrontational.
 
Step Four: Make it a win/win situation – Becoming a superior negotiator does not mean one party must lose. In fact, it means the opposite. For example, often, the car salesperson will say something like, “Let’s find something that works for both of us.” Then they will likely tack on extras such as car maintenance but not lower the monthly price. Now the price seems more worth it to the buyer while the seller still gets what they want out of the deal; that is a win/win situation.
 
Step Five: Research and more research – Don't go into any negotiation before knowing what you are talking about. Research as much as you can on the topic that you are dealing with. For example, if you are trying to negotiate your rent (believe it or not this does happen) then it is a good idea to research all the prices in the zip code you plan on living in as well as crime statistics or other factors that can be negative to allow a decrease.
 
Keep practicing these five steps, and you are sure to benefit the next time you must put your negotiating skills to the test. Remember, learn as much as possible so you can exude confidence and always look to help each party, and you will be sure to reap the benefits of becoming a master negotiator. 

Whether you’ve already lost your job through down-sizing, redundancy, or any other reason, or if you’re under threat to lose your job, your first thoughts run from blind panic to anger, desperation, and all points in between, especially if you have a family and all the commitments that go with it.
 
It’s especially daunting if you’ve been in that position for a long time and assumed that you had that job for life. When it’s the only job you’ve ever known, finding out that your job has gone can be devastating.
 
Even if it’s a job that you’ve tolerated for years, when you no longer have it, you suddenly forget all the things you didn’t like about working there and remember only the good. It’s human nature.
 
But the feelings of loss, of being in free-fall, create feelings of doubt. And doubt can cause a huge loss in self-confidence at a time when you need it the most.
 
Rather than block out those feelings, acknowledge them, embrace them, and then let them go. They will not serve you in moving forward.
 
Keep in mind that many layoffs are activated by accountants - usually people you don’t know and have never met. They have no idea who you are, what your skills are, what your true worth is, and how your family might suffer from your job loss. They’re just doing the job that they’re paid for.
 
Why Me?
 
The accountants are simply moving numbers from one column to another on the balance sheet to keep the company solvent and in business. So, avoid wasting your time trying to figure out ‘why me.’ You are just a number to them and there’s no answer to that question.
 
Granted, it might be tough for you to make sense of the situation. But sooner or later, you know you have to get past it, over it, or around it, so why not make it sooner?  Later has no merit at all, does it?
 
Here’s the truth. Losing a job is part of modern society. We live in a rapidly changing world, and this is just another kind of change, and change is the only constant we can truly expect.
 
Look around you. Everyone you know that has a job has come from some other workplace. And most of them ended up with a better job after their move! You can too!
 
Regardless of what happens to you, it’s what you do about what has happened to you that’s important.
 
So, although you didn’t anticipate this change, you can look at it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself, rethink, reset, adjust, and get a clear idea of not only what is possible for you, but what could also change your life for the better.
 
Have you ever had thoughts about a career change? It just might be the perfect time to consider one. It could be so much easier to make such decisions now that your old job isn’t holding you back from going after what you truly desire.
 
Could There be a More Perfect Time? 
Think about it. Could there be a more perfect time to re-define what you want to do with your life and get clear on what’s important to you?
 
Follow these steps to plan your perfect direction: 

1. Decide what you want to avoid. An easy place to start is with what you DON’T want, and then look at the opposite.
   
   
   • For example, if you totally loathe commuting, look at a role where you could work from home. Tens of thousands of people already do, why not you?
     
     
2. What about your chosen field of expertise? If you’re tired of that kind of work, maybe you could consider a career change.
   
   
   • You can find free courses on the internet for thousands of different skill sets. Sign up for as many as you need to get an understanding of what’s out there that just might be a perfect fit for you.
     
     
3. Explore new ideas using your current interests. Consider anything and everything that gets your attention. Start paying close attention to what interests you and what fascinates you. There could be something within arms-reach that you’ve had an interest in for some time. For example:
   
   
   • If you go to the bookstore, what sections do you visit most often?
     
     
   • If you’re channel surfing on TV, what kind of programs do you stop at most often?
     
     
   • If you’re scrolling social media, what stories do you read the most and/or comment on the most?

 
Make copious notes for a week or more. Then go back and review. Notice where the commonalities are and make a decision to follow up on what gets your attention the most.
 
You may find a fascinating new direction to pursue!
 
Some people have found that losing their job was the very best thing that could have happened to them. Why not you?

May people are trying to find a career coach. Coaches have the skills and knowledge to advise, support, and encourage their client.
 
Career coaches help their clients to:

• Make sound decisions
• Take effective actions
• Resolve their challenges in the most efficient way possible
• Learn from the process, so they can repeat it whenever they want

 
A career coach also has the ability to remain detached from the issues at hand.

​Consider the wise words of Albert Einstein: 

Maybe. Maybe not.

• Are you at a point where NOT taking action is costing you time and money?
  
• Do you feel stuck in your struggles?
  
• Could you use encouragement and sage advice in moving forward?

How to evaluate a job offer: 

1. Set goals. It’s easier to analyze a job offer when you have a clear vision of your career path. Goals enable you to think long-term and focus on how any position can prepare you for your next step.
   
   
2. Weigh the evidence. What are the pros and cons? Identify your priorities. Maybe you’re willing to accept a longer commute in exchange for tuition reimbursements that would enable you to complete a degree.
   
   
3. Consult your feelings. Emotions matter too. That sinking sensation in your stomach could be minor jitters or serious misgivings.
   
   
4. Talk it over. What would you tell a friend in the same situation? Ask someone you trust for feedback. A third party may be able to see things more objectively.
   
   
5. Sleep on it. Recruiters and employers may be pressuring you for a quick decision. If possible, give yourself at least one night to mull things over and gather more information if needed.
   
   
6. Maximize your options. Money troubles are sometimes unavoidable. However, if you can build up your savings, you’ll have more flexibility for extending your job search until you find an opportunity that truly excites you.

• ​Choose your medium. Any channel from email to a personal meeting can be appropriate depending on your previous interactions. When in doubt, you may want to reply to a job offer the same way that it was delivered.

1. Show appreciation. Express your gratitude. Let them know that you appreciate their time and consideration.
   
   
2. Use tact. Most companies will want to know why you’re turning them down. You may be able to provide them with helpful feedback without being too critical. It’s okay to keep it brief.
   
   
3. Be prompt. Avoid causing any further delay. Sending your response in a timely manner will help the company to move ahead with its hiring process.
   
   
4. Stay in touch. There could still be valuable opportunities in the future. If you see such potential, let the company know that you’re interested in hearing about other developments and invite your contacts to connect on platforms like LinkedIn.

 

If you relish the opportunity to change, consider these Top 10 Tips for reinventing yourself: 
​

1. Avoid giving in to what is expected, reasonable, sensible, or appropriate. The point here is to enjoy yourself. For example:
   
   
   • If you’ve been ‘the grey suit guy’ all your life and you want to be the Hawaiian Shirt guy, just do it.
     
     
   • If you’ve been ‘the modest condo guy’, and you secretly lusted after a penthouse suite with views of the ocean, find one.
     
     
   • And if you’ve always been the ‘BMW sedan guy’ but love the idea of driving a 55 Chevy pick-up, this is your time to shine. People will notice that you live life according to your own rules, and you can enjoy every minute of it!
     
     
2. If you’re in a new job or locale, this is a time to make new friends. Choose carefully and wisely. You don’t need to be everybody’s friend.
   
   
   • Keep your circle small. Sound people out and use your new friends to sound out new places and potential new hobbies too. Others will notice that you’re friendly but have a private side too.
     
     
3. Practice being a great listener. You’ll be amazed at what you can learn about people, places, and everything else if you just listen. Ask lots of questions. You’re new here and others will expect you to ask questions. Ask some good ones…and listen.
   
   
   • A surprising perk of this technique is that others will refer to you as a great conversationalist!
     
     
4. Take time to explore the area …. alone. You’ll notice and appreciate more if you’re alone. Take pictures and make notes. It will make for great conversations later!
   
   
5. Be a good neighbor. Take time to help others. Practice random acts of kindness at every opportunity.
   
   
   • Others will appreciate you and speak well of you, especially if you help with no thought of a reward. Do it because you can and for no other reason.
     
     
6. Stand up and speak out for things you have a passion for. Let others know that you are both willing and able to make your point, debate an issue, or speak up for those who have no voice. People will notice that you are selfless and put others before yourself.
   
   
7. Start early. Show that you have a zest for life and can’t wait to get at it each day. Walk quickly and with purpose. Always be the first to volunteer for everything.
   
   
   • You will win some and you will lose some, but overall, you will win because everyone will know you as the one who is up for everything.
     
     
8. Be generous with your praise for everybody who has earned it. Giving credit to others will show how much you appreciate them, and it will come back to you tenfold.
   
   
9. Keep yourself fit and healthy. Set a good example. You don’t have to go crazy - just eat healthy, drink plenty of water, and do some form of exercise that raises your heart rate for 30 minutes each day.
   
   
   • The pay-off is phenomenal. Others will notice you and be inspired, which, in turn, will inspire you to continue.
     
     
10. Thank others - for everything, all the time. Show your gratitude to as many people as you can, as often as you can. Most people are starved of thanks for a job well done, for sharing their wisdom, or for acknowledging their kindness.
    
    
    • People will appreciate you forever if you show them gratitude for good words and deeds.

 
Most of the time, our mind runs on autopilot because how we show up in life is directed by our subconscious mind. When you turn the job over to your conscious mind and really put some thought into it, amazing things can happen.

​One of the biggest reasons you get tired of a job is that you're doing the same thing every day. If you happen to love what you do, that's great, but if not it's time to break out of the box. Besides, learning a new skill adds value to your career. If you've been doing server work for a long time, take the time to learn other skills. If you're an Exchange specialist, learn some Linux skills.

​Not very many of us get to work for the same company for the rest of our IT careers. The only job security is the security you give yourself, and one of the ways to get that security is to add professional certifications to your resume. Certifications get you noticed and help you stand out from the crowd. Ask yourself what your resume would look like if you were laid off today, and then take steps to improve yourself and your professional standing.

Be prepared to take one step backwards in order to take multiple steps forward.

You may be in a situation one of my clients was in a while back when his employer saw him as strictly a server guy. My client wanted to get on the Cisco side of things, but there was this perception that he was "only a LAN guy". He had to leave that company to get his shot. There was some short-term financial pain, but in the long run it was the best career move he had ever made.
 
People get typecast in every field. In his book "Often Wrong, Never In Doubt", Donny Deutsch writes about a job candidate who wanted to become a junior ad executive, but couldn't break in with his current employer which was an ad agency! He was typecast in a support role, so he applied to other ad firms and was quickly hired.
 
Sometimes you have to look outside your current situation in order to create a new situation for yourself. Don't be afraid to take a step backwards in order to open up new possibilities for yourself. There's an amazing career out there, waiting for you if you have the courage to make it and take it.​

Recently, I have been searching and writing about the precise meaning of many words that have to do with our endurance and survival. I started to write about the meanings of efficiency, discipline, resilience, productivity, and hope, just to name a few. 
​

​I always thought productivity was the key to success. Later, I realized success has a recipe of its own with many ingredients. Aside from the above-mentioned traits, one of the most important characteristics is PERSEVERANCE.
​
To define perseverance, it's best to start with the dictionary. Dictionary.com defines perseverance as follows:
​

Alongside Dictionary.com, there is always Thesaurus.com and this is how it lists the synonyms for perseverance.
​

Perseverance adjectives are listed as perseverant and  persevering. You would think they mean the same thing, right? Here is what https://wikidiff.com/persevering/perseverant has to say about it.
​

​In the realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm... in the real world all rests on perseverance.
​Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

​I have read that intellectual perseverance is harnessing one's intelligence and building a Never Quit attitude by leveraging the power of positive thinking in spite of increases in negative thinking. 

The Philosophical Life wrote an article in 2018 on Medium about intellectual perseverance and explained: 
"....Intellectual perseverance is a habit that comes from a love of learning. It’s the tendency to not give up on learning when the learning gets tough. Instead, you embrace intellectual struggle. You persist toward greater understanding. Intellectual perseverance is an intellectual virtue....."

Here is a little fable about Susan and her job search story. She persevered until she found her ideal  job and so can you. ​

​Susan was looking for a job, so she sent her resume all over town. She scoured the newspapers every day, and by the end of the month, Susan had applied to over one hundred openings.  “Surely,” Susan thought “I will find my dream job soon!”
 
But many days passed and Susan didn't hear back from any of the jobs where she had applied.  She began to worry – was there something wrong with her resume? 
 
Finally, two weeks after she sent in her 107th resume, she got a call for her first interview! Soon after, Susan got another two calls and she ended up with three interviews scheduled. “Finally,” she thought, “I’m one step closer to my dream job!”

​So Susan went to her interviews and she thought she made a wonderful impression, but to Susan’s disappointment, she only heard back about one job, and it was the lowest paid, least fulfilling opportunity of the three.
 
“Should I take it?”, she wondered.  The thought of working every day at a job she hated made her feel hopeless. Susan was afraid she might not find anything else, so she accepted the job, but vowed to continue looking for something better.
 
A few weeks after accepting the low-paying, unfulfilling job, Susan got a call from a company that hadn’t got back to her for weeks. It turns out they needed someone with Susan’s exact skill set!
 
Finally, after some hard work and persistence, Susan was offered the job of her dreams – the money was good and it was just the kind of work she was looking for. 

When we put in our best effort, we create opportunities, find opportunities, and opportunities will find us. When we allow disappointment and discouragement to take over, we don’t see the hidden gems right in front of our faces!
 
What if Susan had stopped the pursuit of her dream job when she took the dead-end position? What if she had allowed her disappointment to dictate her actions? What if she ignored the phone call about her dream job offer?
 
Well, she wouldn’t be very happy at all! She would be suffering an inner tension day in and day out.
 
We must continue to persevere and leverage the power of positive thinking even as negative thinking seems so much easier. It's an easier way to create results.
 
Opportunities will come. They always do when we work, wait, and watch for them.

Resilience is defined as the ability to recover quickly from adversity. The research shows that people are more likely to learn from difficult or traumatic situations (resilience) than not.

To define resilience, Dictionary.com writes as follows:
noun:

• the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
• ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

​

​There are several personal qualities that are considered ‘protective factors’ in individuals who are resilient. These factors are based on years of research.

The personal resiliency indicators are:

• Relationships – the ability to form positive relationships
• Helpfulness – gives of self to help others
• Life Skills – practices good life skills such as communication, problem solving, etc.
• Humor – ability to laugh at difficult situations
• Inner Guidance – uses internal guidance for making choices and coping with problems
• Perceptiveness – ability to understand people and situations
• Independence – ability to make choices that are best for oneself despite the norm
• Optimism – hopeful view of the future
• Adaptability – ability to adjust to changing needs and circumstances
• Love of learning – interest in and capacity to learn and grow
• Self-motivation – internally driven
• Competence – mastery of something that matters
• Self-worth – sees self as a worthy and worthwhile person
• Spirituality – faith in a power greater than oneself
• Perseverance – ability to keep on in the face of difficulty
• Creativity – use of imagination and expression through some artistic outlet

(Adapted from The Resiliency Workbook, Nan Henderson) 
 
Most people have some of these characteristics. We can build our resilience by developing traits and characteristics that we do not currently possess.